Yesterday......

........my heart turned cold,

Switched off,

Stopped beating,

The air around me sickly and sweet,

Thick and irritating,

Un-breathable,

And yet my lungs still functioned.

The screaming of my soul,

As all contact was severed,

Was a pain I'd hate to repeat,

But know that I will.

For our Goodbye could never be final,

You are woven into the fabric of my skin,

Branded onto my heart,

Forever etched into the smiling memories in my mind.

A Love,

A Feeling,

A Bond.

Unique in itself,

And yet the same as all other ties.

I know I'll see your words again,

Hear your heartbeat fast,

Be consumed by the passion in your eyes,

Feel your aching touch,

For I cannot imagine a life without you in it

My heart is yours,

Always.

Keep it safe.

xxx

A whole world of crazy

Right now,
I'm so torn,
I've been torn,
Torn between emotions and my conscience,
But now,
Right now,
I am physically torn,
Ripped in half by a sense of duty and a compulsion to be consumed.
Is it possible to Love you both?
Well of course, but to be IN Love?
Now that is what's screwing with my already fucked up head!!
There are so many pulls on my time and my feelings here,
The children,
A sense of loyalty,
Family,
A future planned and not yet visited...
And then there is You,
That guy from my past,
A connection once formed that has yet to be severed,
There is something so very very right about You,
About this emotion,
This place you have taken me.
This journey hasn't been long at all,
Just in its infancy,
And yet I fear I could follow you to the end of time,
Revelling in all that you offer,
Being devoured by this inclination is truely a privelege,
But it comes at such a high price.
I've agonized time and time again,
Making one decision and then another...
And I am lost again as to which road to go down.
Saying Goodbye and letting go, to You,
Is like a mourning in it's rawest form,
I dunno if I am strong enough to weather that,
Or even if I really want to,
This is so very very hard.
And I'm truely sorry.
I Love You.