I sit here, another year about to end, or is it another year about to begin...?
I guess now is a time for reflection, for looking back at was has passed, what we've achieved, what we've learnt even....
This year has not been the best for me personally, it's been a struggle..both emotionally and physically to stay on this path of sanity that my mind so frequenty wanders from.
There have been dark moments, some of the darkest I have witnessed for quite sometime now, but in all I think I've pretty much held it together...well I'm trying at least.
The sun still shines each day in my life, I have four beautiful, healthy and mostly happy children to thank for that.
My heart still smiles, not like it used to...it's been bruised these last few months and I'm unsure as yet as to whether it will regain it's old lustre...it's vibrancy, it's fantastically, pulsating, dancing rhythm that it once had...but I am ever hopeful that it will.
My spirit has been dented but not broken and I try to hold off each day the nagging lonliness that threatens to swallow my soul.
But the black of solitude forgets I have been here before, quite willingly at times,and it's hard not to revert to the comfort and numbness that the darkness brings when your soul is in need of nuturing and there is no place else to return.
So...as I sit here and reflect on this eve of a new decade I will endeavour to heal myself, one day at a time, until I am whole once more.
Good health and Happy New Year to all who "know" me..
Sugar
